Imagine a kid, excited about his first stage performance, he is fully prepared but the moment he goes on the stage he forgets his lines, the crowd is laughing at him and when he comes back his teacher scolds him for the bad show.
Next season, the child’s mother asks him to participate, knowing he has deep love for acting, but he tells her he is not interested (coping mechanism) when the child’s classmates make fun of him, he starts to make fun of someone else’s performance ( defense mechanism).
The child grows up and becomes a part of a big corporate but is still afraid to present before people. He likes to talk about his colleagues and make fun of them thinking that will protect him from the judgement of others.
“Unexpressed emotions will never die. They are buried alive and will come forth later in uglier ways.”
SIGMUND FREUD
This is a classic example of how we develop various forms of defense or coping mechanisms in life in multiple areas. Before we realize these mechanisms have developed into a hard mask that we wear in front of the world.
The mask not only suffocates us from within but disapproves of anyone else willing to show their true self. The mask smothers us and kills our divine spark slowly, before we even realize it. And then the damaged inner self starts surfacing in our lives in the form of depression, anxiety and other physical illnesses.
Do you often hear people saying that “I have a few people I show my real self to” , “You can’t be your real self in office “, “Alcohol makes me feel easy to be myself” etc. We are too apprehensive to express positive emotions like love, affection, praise and negative emotions like anger, sadness, disappointment thinking it might lead to judgments.
It is time we make that child understand that it is okay if you forgot your lines, that should not stop you from pursuing something you love, nor is it the first time that someone got anxious on stage.
It is time we start accepting ourselves and open the doors for an accepting and nurturing environment at work, home and in our minds.
Self acceptance can come in many forms, the next time you look in the mirror and accept the way you look, when you look back at your relationships and accept the way they have worked out, when you see your career and give a pat on your back for being wherever you are or are not, because we all deserve to be applauded for being the brave souls that we are.
Content : Sonal Mishra
Concept : Trisha Kaushik
MIRROR MIRROR 